Talking Back to Spam – God bless you man

Jul 18, 2011 by

Photo courtesy of www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/

EDITOR’S NOTE: The four Marshall University students who man the ‘Meanwhile in West Virginia blog’ (to which WestVirginiaVille readers were recently introduced) usually devote their posts – and their podcasts –  to fairly weighty matters. There’s a future editorial page editor or two among this crew of capable homeboy bloggers. But now and then, they kick their feet up, crack their knuckles and talk back to spam. Anyone who operates a public blog will soon receive a curiously worded plethora of spam, written as if by someone who learned English from a frog. Only this time, in this April 11 reprint of a ‘Meanwhile in West Virginia’ post, Bishop Nash, fires back. About time we had this conversation.

BISHOP NASH |Meanwhile in West Virginia | April 16, 2011

Proverbs 17:22 (KJV): “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

The vast majority of our public posts are quite serious and often deal with the spirit-shattering truths of the world. Behind the black maelstrom that we report from lie four hearts of gold jailed in the ribs of mortal men.

So, if only for one post we’re going to produce smiles instead of breaking hearts, or at least I am. It’s going to be funny enough whenever Kuyler, James, and Shaheed find out that I wrote a post responding to spam comments.

In a way, there’s a lesson in here. It just goes to show how much bandwidth, time, and space is wasted everyday by the billions of spam messages that only a fool would put merit into reading.

To grossly misquote John Lennon, “A blog post you enjoyed wasting was not wasted, home skillet.”

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Some of my favorite spam comments:

It’s the first time I seach this site and I am really enthusiastic about so many Good articles. I think it is just very Good.
– “We’re JUST very good? Well thanks for searching for us.”

Howdy there, I will?t entry the site properly within Opera, I really hope you are going to restore this particular!
– “This spam bot got close to interpreting a West Virginian by using howdy, but gave itself away because nobody, NOBODY in WV uses Opera. Internet Explorer for life!”

my sentiments and I will instantly snatch your rss feed to be updated on any upcoming content you may publish, I am really fan of your web?2$4
– “Kuyler put up an RSS feed button to make it easier for you and you sentiments to snatch it. I hope everyone snatches our RSS. And I appreciate you being fan of our web?2$4″

I cherished reading this article I will be sure to tell my close friends about this and hyperlink to it too. Thanks
– “Kuyler mentioned this comment at our meeting/excuse to eat Chinese/and watch the Reds on Saturday. He brought it to my attention that neither of us had heard anyone call it a hyperlink since like 2002. But I hope this bot doesn’t only share our articles with their close bot friends.”

I was introduced about your website from a neighbour. He was right about you. Your website is somewhat engaging.
– “I love the idea of our blog being the topic of the light, across-the-hedge conversations of neighbors. ‘Oh hey, Bob, you gotta check out these four colleges kids and their blog about West Virginia!”
“Yeah right, I’ll believe that when we aren’t just somewhat engaging.”

justin bieber is a good singer and every one who disses him is just awful how would you like it if someone did that too you .. ! and he is cute not pretty and he is hot not pretty so whatever think what you want !
– “…I think this spam was meant for another blog. But I’ve seen actual YouTube comments written like this, so I hope for humanity’s sake that this is, in fact, spam.”

I get pleasure from, result in I found just what I was taking a look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye
– “I get pleasure from, abrupt punctuation. And the four-day journey to find us story makes me feel like a Buddhist teacher perched high in the mountains waiting for worthy ears to find him.”

I am pretty sure this subject was examined on CNN
– “Oh, no kidding?”

Are you for real? Hells yes you are, this should be a headline. with your permission, I will make that happen.
– “Aw hells yes dawg make us a headline. I fully trust your judgment on us being fo realz and your ability to make it happen.”

Welcome I became on bing and then finished up avoiding with regards to your wordpress bog, thought it was wonderful who would have thought.
– “Your English is even so very goodly, zank you for finding our bog.”

פורטל בעל מאמרים בחינם . אתר המאמרים היחיד במדינה המאפשר לכותבים להוסיף פרסומות גוגל אדסנס שלהם במאמרים שהם כותבים וכך גם להרוויח כסף בנוסף לקישורים.
– “Oh crap, the Mossad found us…”